


Friends in Low Places

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Playlist [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Dumb boys being dumb, First Meetings, Flirty Stucky, Hooking up, M/M, Pepper Potts has the Patience of a Saint, Shameless Tony Stark, Song fic, Strangers to Lovers, Tony Does Karaoke, sorta - Freeform, stuckony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28539192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: Based exactly on that one song-- Tony never backs down from a dare, even if it involves karaoke, a cowboy hat and copious amounts of alcohol.Going home with Stucky wasn't part of the dare, but hey. Tony's no quitter.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Playlist [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1462534
Comments: 18
Kudos: 320





	Friends in Low Places

[ _**THIS SONG** _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0e_HtjZS8SQ) _which is a classic and hilarious and maybe have been sung once or twice by me during a neon-drink fueled night out with the gal pals._

**********

The newspaper landed right on Tony’s almost empty breakfast plate, and he pursed his lips, clenched his jaw and took a measured sip of orange juice before looking up at Pepper with what he could only hope was his _most_ innocent expression. 

“Something interesting in the news?” he queried and _oh no_ , there went the vein in Pepper’s head throbbing in irritation. “No? What about uh-- what about something funny? Anything make a splash?”

“You are not going to make me laugh.” She warned, and wagged a finger at him. “You’re not going to make jokes about _making a splash_ when the front page article is just a full size picture of you in what I can only imagine is women’s underwear in the pool at the Italian Consulate.” 

“I’ll have you know _Signora_ Isabella let me borrow those after mine ended up in a tree.” 

“Tony.” Pepper pinched at the bridge of her nose and blew out a harsh breath. “This isn’t funny.” 

“It’s a little funny.” Tony countered. “And it was a dare! I couldn’t say no!” 

“You _absolutely_ could have said no.” 

“Not to a dare! Besides, my mama was Italian!” Tony protested half heartedly. “I was getting back to my roots!” 

“By wearing the consulate general’s daughters underwear in their pool at some god awful time at night?” 

“I think three am is technically _morning_ \--” Tony put up both hands peacefully when Pepper’s green eyes _blazed_. “--but your point is taken. If it makes you feel any better, it’s not like this one is married. We enjoyed dinner with her Papa, had some mildly interesting conversation about the current political climate, and then they brought out the wine and uh--” he gestured towards the photo. “--the night went on from there.” 

“Let’s all be glad _this one_ isn’t married.” Pepper said tightly. “And before you say it, _no_ this isn’t the worst thing I’ve caught you doing and _no_ it’s not the worst dare you’ve ever participated in, but it’s still going to take me most of the weekend to put the fire out. Could you please just lay low for a while?” 

“I don’t know the meaning of the words.” Tony decided. “Lay low? You mean do anything where someone isn’t watching me? Is that-- Is that English you’re speaking?” 

“ _Lay low, Tony!_ ” 

“Yep, I’m out.” Tony grabbed his toast, blew a crumbly kiss towards his favorite redhead ever, and snatched his coat on the way out the door. 

He could lay low for a day. This was Manhattan, New York City, there were plenty of places he could disappear. And if he couldn't disappear in the city, he could always fly home to Mama Rhodes for cornbread and the worlds most uncomfortable couch while playing Rich Wacky Uncle to all of Rhodey’s sort of ridiculously funny nieces and nephews. 

“Honeybear!” Tony drummed his fingers on his thighs impatiently, waiting for Colonel Rhodes to finish up a side conversation before finally answering the phone. “Hey! Pepper told me to lay low so I thought I’d crash at Ma’s place. Want to meet me there for some fried chicken?" 

“You are absolutely _not_ crashing at Ma’s place.” Rhodey said flatly. “I dunno how you’ve convinced her you’re an angel for all these years, but when your ass is on the front page of every tabloid in the country, you are not going to take those shenanigans to my ma. She doesn't need to see your bare butt, Tony. You know she's got a heart condition."

“Rhodey.” Tony tried and failed to smother a laugh. “It’s fine. I promise--” 

“No, Tony." Rhodey cut in again. "Go find a dive bar and sing bad karaoke all night or something. Do _not_ leave city limits or Pepper might actually combust, but don’t go out in real public either. Honestly Tones. The consulate general’s _daughter_?” 

“This one wasn’t married.” Tony pointed out, and Rhodey’s less-than-impressed huff was just as frustrated as Pepper’s had been. “Okay fine. I won’t take my tabloid worthy _tuchus_ to your ma. I’ll go do terrible karaoke instead.” 

“Thank you, my Ma's heart appreciates it.” Rhodey waited a beat as someone said something in the background. “Hey, what’s that one song we sang on repeat on Spring Break senior year?” 

“Friends in Low Places.” Tony said promptly. “Everyone thought it was an innuendo because we were drunk and hanging off each other and I had to explain that you were _not_ the friend that camped out in my low places.” 

“No no Tony, you actually didn’t have to explain it and you certainly didn’t have to explain it like that.” the Colonel countered, an age old argument that he knew he'd never win. “ _Christ_. But yeah, that’s the song. I dare you to sing it while wearing a ten gallon hat and drinking the fruitiest, girliest drink in the bar. Video it, send it to Pepper and we’ll see how long it takes her to threaten to quit.” 

“Last time we sent her drunk videos, she _actually_ quit.” Tony pointed out. “It was the scariest two hours of my life before I gave her enough of a raise to come back."

“Double dare you.” 

“No, Rhodey. The company will literally fall to shit without Pep. Can't risk it." 

“Triple doghouse dare you.” 

Ugh." Tony sighed theatrically. “....Would you like me to sing that in my natural tenor, or a sweet falsetto?” 

****************

“ _Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots! And ruined your black tie affair_ …!” 

It had taken two of the karaoke bar’s fruitiest, most neon, most _alcoholic_ drinks to get Tony up on the stage awkwardly straddling a bar stool and crooning along to some Garth Brooks, but a twenty dollar bill had relieved the most cowboy-ish gentleman in the bar of his hat and now Tony was swinging his feet and clutching the microphone with both hands as he sang directly to the phone currently held by one of the two hottest people he’d ever seen in his life. 

“ _The last one to know, the last one to shoooooooow, I was the last one you thought would be there-ee-yare--ee-yare!_ ” 

Seriously the blond was unfairly gorgeous, dark blue eyes and stupidly big biceps and when Tony had asked him to 'please hold the phone and video me for my friend as proof I did this shit' he hadn’t expected the guy to grin and reply, “Aw shucks, anyone in the place'd be happy to take a picture of you, you’re so damn cute. Sure am glad you asked me though."

_Who says shucks?_

“ _I saw the surprise, and the fear in his eyes when I took his glass of champagne_!” Tony raised his glass and a couple people cheered. “ _I toasted you, said honey we might be through, but you’ll never hear me complain_!” 

Tony paused long enough to pound the fruity drink, then wiped his mouth, “ _Cos I got friends in low places! Where the whiskey drowns! And the beer chases my blues away_!” 

Someone whistled in the back and Tony wriggled a little on the seat, waggled his eyebrows and sang, “ _And I’ll be okay_!” 

“ _Whoo_!” Big and blondes companion was equally big and a whole of brunette, tattoos and long hair he kept pushing out of his eyes and Tony zeroed in on him when he sang, “ _I’m not big on social graces! Think I’ll slip on down_ \--” 

\--and the whole bar, because that’s what rooms full of drunk singing people did-- “ _TO THE OHHHAYYYYSIS_!” 

“ _Cos I’ve got friends_!” Wheeee Tony spun on his butt on the stool. “ _In low-oh-oh places!_ ” 

“Fuck me, he’s hot.” From behind the phone, Steve elbowed his boyfriend and inclined his head towards the brunette on stage. “What do you think?” 

“Think he’s not being real subtle about needing someone in a low place.” Bucky grinned and elbowed Steve right back, putting both fingers in his mouth and whistling out loud when Tony slid off the stool and did a little wiggle-jiggle walk across stage and kept right on singing. “Look at that booty.” 

“I’m looking.” Steve said immediately. “But who do you think the video’s for?” 

“Don’t matter.” Bucky banged on the table a few times when the chorus came back around and most of the room joined in singing. “It’s either a joke video for a friend or a ‘fuck you’ to an ex with the way he’s tryna undress us with them pretty eyes. I think we’re good.” 

“Want to buy him a drink?” 

“I think two’s probably enough.” Bucky grinned when Tony did another little one of those twirls. “Fucking lightweight is what he is. Couple neon drinks and he’s down for a good time. Give him a chance to sober up a little before tryna talk to him or it’s no fun at all.” 

“I’ve got _friends! In lowwwww places! Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away!_ ” 

There wasn’t anything quite as fun as drunk karaoke, and Tony was laughing too hard to even sing by the time the song ended but that was okay because the bar was singing along and keeping time and ho ho holy _crap_ both those beefy boys in the front row were grinning when Tony finally made it back around to the table to get his phone. 

“Thanks fellas.” Tony dropped into the chair next to them and scrunched his nose into a grin when he saw the footage. “Honeybear is gonna love this.” 

“What’s a honeybear?” Bucky asked, folding his arms on the table and leaning to give his _most_ charming smile. “And why aren’t they out here with you?” 

“It was a dare.” Tony answered matter of factly, and sent the video right off to both Rhodey and Pepper. “And I don’t ever back down from those. Speaking of which--” he rotated in the chair, looking for the cowboy. “I need to see a man about returning a hat. Thanks for the video, could I buy you guys a drink?” 

“Sure.” Steve was quick to answer and Tony tossed them a careless salute before heading back across the room to return the hat. “Hear that, Buck? Never backs down from a dare?” 

“I heard.” Bucky fished out a coin and held it up for Steve to see. “Heads or tails?” 

“Heads.” Steve said automatically and Bucky chuckled, “You like his mouth?” 

“You know it.” 

******************

“Good morning, Pepper!” Tony was feeling _incredibly_ perky for someone who had drank a fish tanks worth of fruity drinks before getting railed to within an inch of his _life_ by two perfectly hot, perfectly swoon worthy sort of perfectly gentlemanly bar patrons. Bucky and Steve had somehow managed to treat him like both a sweetheart and a naughty boy, and honestly? Tony was into it. “How are you?” 

“I woke up this morning to a video of you caterwauling to some awful song while wearing a giant hat.” Pepper already sounded exhausted. “Tony I told you to lay low!” 

“I _did_ lay low!” he defended. “Only you and Honeybear have that video!” 

“Okay well _Honeybear_ uploaded it to his Facebook and now half the world has seen Tony Stark shaking it to Low Places.” 

“Eh well, my booty deserves to be shaken in low places.” Tony sniffed, and from the bedroom one of the boys called, “You mean it deserves to be TAKEN in low places!” 

“Yeah, Tony!” the other one shouted. “Come back to bed and let me sit in your _oasis_ again!” 

Tony clapped a hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t scream with laughter and Pepper quietly counted to ten under her breath and announced, “I quit Tony. I can’t deal with you anymore.” 

“Okay hold on let me check the time cos Rhodey bet you would quit the second you saw the video and _I_ bet it would take you at least an hour to calm down before you called me…” 

“I hate you both.” she sighed, and Tony nodded, “Aw Ms. Potts. I know.” 

“I deserve a raise for this.” 

“Yes you do.” 

“And a new dress.” she insisted, and Tony said the same thing he always said-- “Sure, Pepper.” 

“And don’t ever make me meet whichever guy just offered to sit in your oasis.” Pepper continued. “I can’t do that. Can’t look him in the face.” 

“That’s fair.” 

“Come back to bed, sweet thing.” Bucky was the one to make it off the bed, lumbering into the living room all big and nekkid to hook an arm around Tony’s shoulders and tug him in for a kiss. “We got another dare for you.” 

“Well, I _never_ back down from dare.” Tony said seriously and shrieked when Bucky’s palm cracked down on his butt cheek in a playful but still sort of stinging swat. “Ouch! Okay! I’m going!” 

“ _I got friends…_ ” Tony sang quietly as he sashayed his way back to the bedroom. “ _In low places_ …” and Pepper who was still unfortunately on the phone groaned to herself and started a semi-threatning text to Rhodey to tell him to take the video down or face her wrath. 

_She seriously wasn't paid enough for this._


End file.
